Flip the Script on Meetings: 3 Ways to Transcend Your Team's Limiting Beliefs

Apr 7, 2023 by Elise Keith in meeting culture (13 minute read)

Do your employees complain about meetings? Have you tried introducing policies or technology to make meetings more effective, only to see bad habits and overloaded calendars quickly return? If so, your colleagues may be trapped by three common limiting beliefs – mental barriers that keep them from realizing the true potential of well-coordinated gatherings.

They may believe that:

  1. Meetings suck. All efforts at improvement are doomed.
  2. Not my place. Only "leaders" have the authority (and responsibility) to improve meetings. I don't want to rock the boat.
  3. It can't be done. It's not possible for meetings to work well across an entire organization.

It's incredibly difficult to inspire positive results when you start with a negative belief. This challenge holds true for each of us individually and is magnified when a limiting belief is shared by a group.

In this article, we will explore three strategies to break through these harmful meeting myths.

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Topics: meeting culture

3 Beliefs that Trap People in Chronically Bad Meetings (Survey Results)

Mar 27, 2023 by Elise Keith in meeting culture (8 minute read)

A lot of people come to me for advice. And sometimes, when I listen to myself talking, I wish I could follow some of it.
~ Shah Rukh Khan (aka SRK) in an interview with David Letterman

In 2022, we posted a survey asking people for five obvious tips for running better meetings. To reinforce the "obvious" bit, here's what we asked:

Imagine that you’ve agreed to help a child with a short school paper on the “Top Five Things Every Professional Needs to Know about Running Productive Meetings”. Which Top Five tips would you include?

We asked because there's a standard set of meeting tips that are shared so often and in so many places that it seems most people must have seen them. We believe people already know what they're "supposed" to do. They just aren't consistently doing it.

We received over 400 tips. Five common themes emerged.

Five Obvious Tips Every Professional Should Know About Running Productive Meetings

  1. Have a clear objective and purpose for the meeting.
  2. Prepare an agenda and circulate it in advance to all attendees.
  3. Determine if a meeting is necessary before scheduling one and invite only relevant people.
  4. Ensure active participation and engagement from all attendees and keep the meeting focused on the agenda and the desired outcomes.
  5. End on time, recap action items and follow up with attendees afterward.

Oh good! We're not imagining things. People really do seem to know the basic advice.

They should! These tips are not new. The oldest meeting manual on my bookshelves includes these tips. It was first printed in 1897. So heads up bloggers of the world: You can write more interesting articles now! This one's been done.

The working world largely agrees on what makes meetings productive. The basic advice hasn't changed much in over 1000 years. You'd think we'd have it down by now, but we all know that's not the case.

We know there's a gap between the advice people give and what they do themselves. SRK is not alone in this. To see how big that gap might be, our survey asked two follow-up questions. The first:

In your current organization, what percentage of meetings do you believe follow this Top 5 advice?

The average responses?

  • 45% for all meetings across the organization
  • 67% of the meetings led by the respondent
44.57% for all meetings, 67.2% of my meetings work great!

These numbers are disturbing low because our surveys tend to attract lots of meeting experts. In this case, 74% of the people taking the survey said that they're most often in the role of a senior executive, leader, or outside expert.

If these leaders aren't consistently following this advice, is anyone? Short answer: Yes.

Averages can be deceiving. When we look at the range of answers, you can see that 17% estimated that more than 75% of their organization's meetings consistently followed this "obvious" advice.

17% say 76 to 100% of their meetings rock it!

That's actually a bit lower than I expected based on the sample and our pre-pandemic research (see this, and this), but it's still leagues beyond impossible.

Once again, it is possible for organizations to enjoy consistently effective meetings.

Still, this leaves us with a significant gap between what most people supposedly know and what they do.

Why the gap? What's getting in the way?

The Gap Between Knowing What to Do and Doing It

Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.

— Henry Ford

For years, I believed the issue was ignorance. I thought folks must endure lousy meetings because they didn't know any better!

While this may be true for some junior employees, I no longer think ignorance is at the core. As the top-tip advice demonstrated, most people say reasonable things when asked to list five obvious tips for running better meetings. I've asked children, strangers on the bus, people at networking events, and laborers who rarely go to meetings, and they all offer decent-sounding advice.

The basic knowledge is out there, yet the chasm between knowing and doing persists. Many people know what they should be doing, but they aren't doing it.

We asked our survey respondents about what they believe creates that gap in their organizations. Specifically:

Thinking about your organization and these Top 5 tips, if meetings do not consistently follow these tips, why might that be?

Here are the top themes.

  1. Lack of buy-in from attendees and leadership.
  2. A lack of clear guidelines and training.
  3. Other people fail to prepare, follow through, or set a clear purpose and agenda, leading to low-quality outcomes.
  4. A general lack of motivation towards meetings.
  5. Short version: Other people!

This will not surprise the psychologists amongst you. Humans are susceptible to a "blindspot" that suggests any failure on our part is due to uncontrollable circumstances. Our meetings are great – except maybe not perfect when we're too busy, stressed, tired, or otherwise thwarted by understandable obstacles.

At the same time, we may believe other people fail because they're lazy, selfish, unintelligent, controlling, or mean – and sometimes all of the above!

When people in an organization experience chronic meeting pain, they witness other people behaving in less-than-awesome ways. This seeds three powerful limiting beliefs.

Three Limiting Beliefs About Business Meetings

1. Meetings suck. Full stop.

As in, water is wet.

Many people seem to believe that bad meetings are in our nature – just a fact of life akin to gravity and death, and their curiosity stops there.

A survey answer reflecting this belief:

Many MANY supervisors who lead meetings apparently have never been told how to lead them well, never had formal training, or – as poor-participants themselves – they allow or participate in these things as leaders. Many leaders seem to fall into these habits because it is COMFORTABLE.

For example, they'll have a triangulated discussion with 2-3 other people out of a group of 20-50 because they don't feel able to address a bigger group, or they'll fail to ask for input since they feel comfortable with their idea and don't want it questioned or changed.

They've never been told how to lead meetings well?!?!?

Why are people waiting around for someone to tell them how to spend their own time more productively? We are a society that can find a great restaurant in a foreign city in minutes. But we don't expect meeting leaders to Google "how to make meetings better?"

That's ridiculous. The information isn't hard to find for anyone who looks. The trick is, they have to believe better meetings just might be possible before they'll get curious enough.

This limiting belief also manifests as:

We're cancelling all our internal meetings so we can get work done.

If you believe that meeting is the opposite of doing work and that meetings are by nature bad things, then the only sensible response is to eliminate as many meetings as you can.

Leaders who embraced the "meetings suck" belief at Shopify, Salesforce, Nike, Slack, and many other companies could then play the hero by dramatically canceling all those evil meetings and rescuing their employees' calendars.

Of course, since meetings are often useful and necessary, employee calendars quickly fill up again. Like Sisyphus, those heroes never achieve the victory they seek.

Every day, valiantly clearing meetings off the calendar

The belief that "Meetings Suck" traps people in bad meeting cultures because it kills curiosity. It assumes that better meetings don't exist, so there's no reason to pursue them.

You and I know better. We know that not all meetings suck. Actually, lots of people know this. Lots of these people even know what an effective meeting looks and feels like.

Despite knowing better, however, folks may endure regularly awful meetings because they believe...

2. It's not my place to make a change.

We learn what's acceptable in a group by attending that group's meetings. If the people in charge do a poor job of it, they're unlikely to know how others feel unless they specifically ask.

Here's a survey response demonstrating the "not my place" belief in action:

We are too nice to one another and don't hold each other accountable for eliciting meeting behavior etiquette, even after its discussed at company meetings.

I encountered this belief most forcefully when leading a private workshop. The company's management brought me in to help their project leaders improve the meetings in the project lifecycle. As we neared the end of a workshop, one frustrated project manager burst out:

I don't understand why we're doing this! Sure, I'd love to run my meetings the way we learned here, but that's not how we do it at this company! If leadership wanted us to run better meetings, they'd tell us – but I haven't heard anything from them about this.

Without a leadership mandate, nothing will change. We're wasting our time.

I was stunned. First, because the leadership group hired me to help them, I wondered – what more of a "mandate" did they need?!

More importantly, this statement revealed a belief that the meetings were bad at the company because that's how leadership wanted them to be, and if they wanted a change, they'd say so. It wasn't the project teams' place to say otherwise.

The belief that it's not my place to make a change traps people in bad meeting habits (and many more ineffective habits) because it reflects a culture where people feel that it's unsafe to suggest improvements.

Those project leaders knew their meetings were boring and knew exactly how to improve them, but they wouldn't try because they didn't believe they had the authority.

So, does that mean people who know how to lead great meetings and clearly have the authority to do so have it easy?

Not necessarily. They may be prone to the third limiting belief.

3. It's not possible for meetings to work well across an entire organization.

Senior leaders – think COOs, CMOs, & SVPs – who lead highly effective meetings within their departments know that they can create a great team culture.

Still, they may not believe it's possible to spread these good habits to other parts of the organization.

Sometimes, this belief has to do with the person at the top.

We have a CEO with narcissistic tendencies who has no goal-awareness and has never worked in a disciplined organization. Rambling and mental frolics are common.

Apparently, this is how Midjourney thinks a CEO prone to "mental frolics" behaves. No wonder they have meeting problems!

More often, though, this belief reflects the experience of a leader who has never worked in an organization with healthy meeting habits. They don't believe organization-wide effectiveness is possible because they've never seen it.

They lack vision.

This belief keeps them trapped in an environment where the only quality meetings they can rely on are the ones they control. They stay mute when they see other leaders operating ineffectively, leaving everyone else free to squander the company's time.

Liberating Limiting Beliefs

If you're trying to improve your organization's meeting culture, you will encounter these beliefs and they will impede your progress.

People who don't believe that meetings can be great will never prioritize improving them. You must shift these beliefs to make progress.

Happily, you can. We'll explore a few strategies you can start with in a future article.

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Topics: meeting culture

Designing a Thoughtful Return to the Office

Oct 24, 2022 by Elise Keith in leadership & facilitation, communication architecture, meeting culture (11 minute read)

It looks to me like we've broken work. Not for everyone, and not everywhere, but for a lot of teams the WE part of work isn't working.

I know. This isn't new.

Work has been kinda broken for a lot of people for a long time. But take it from a lady who deploys lots of duct tape and safety pins: there's a big difference between kinda broken and all-the-way broken.

The lockdowns broke office work. They forced many people out of jobs, and many more into isolation in an attempt to protect our communities. Even though we went through this experience together, we experienced it alone. We were forced to craft a way of working that was uniquely tailored to our individual circumstances. As "3 weeks to flatten the curve" morphed into multiple years with an ever-shifting end goal, we developed new habits.

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Topics: leadership & facilitation, communication architecture, meeting culture

How many meetings are there per day in 2022? (And should you care?)

Aug 31, 2022 by Elise Keith in fun with meetings, meeting culture (20 minute read)

This is a popular search. For those of you building infographics and reports and term papers, here's the bottom line up front.

Our 2022 best-guess estimates for the number of meetings per day in the US:

  • 1976: 11 million
  • 2015: 55 million
  • 2020 lockdown: 80+ million
  • 2022: 62 to 80 million

For everyone else, read on to understand where these numbers come from, why they're irrelevant for most people, and when (or if) you should care about the number of meetings in your organization.

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Topics: fun with meetings, meeting culture

Intervention, Implementation, or Iteration: What do your meetings need now?

Jul 26, 2022 by Elise Keith in meeting design, communication architecture, meeting culture (8 minute read)

Did you know that the first stop sign was installed in 1915?

Before that, there wasn't much need. Horses rarely ran into each other, and most people traveled by foot. There were no speed limits, no lane markings, no directional signage, and few street name signs. Traffic control was not a thing.

The first stop sign was an intervention. More cars led to more accidents, and something had to be done.

Since then, our understanding of how to manage traffic has evolved. Today, the stop sign is one of many internationally recognized signals. We enjoy sophisticated, continually evolving systems for routing traffic.

Left: The first stop sign was installed in Detroit, Michigan. Source
Right: Traffic control on SW Moody in Portland, OR in 2020 Source

Like rapid travel, meetings used to be an infrequent activity. Courtiers, guild masters, and bishops met. Everyone else went about their business with no need to draft an agenda or call anyone to order.

“Let’s have one or two guild meetings this year.
50% business, 50% ritualized drinking, of course. All in favor?” Image Source

While the 20th century saw a rise in the management class, it wasn't until the 1980s that most of the workforce held jobs that required regular meetings.

As the percentage of people in manufacturing and agriculture declines, the percentage attending regular meetings increases. Source

Still, there wasn't too much traffic running through the conference room. Most companies shared a few meeting tips with leaders, then expected everyone to work it out.

Then the 2020 lockdowns arrived, and meeting traffic exploded. Calendars became gridlocked with overlapping, back-to-back video conferences. Software that analyzes calendar data saw increases in meeting time ranging from 13-148% (Sources: National Bureau of Economic Research, Microsoft). So many meetings!

Two years later, employees everywhere are crashing and burning out from sitting in endless meeting traffic jams.

Screenshot from a real calendar, blurred for privacy. This person contacted support hoping for an easier way to figure out which meeting to attend when he was invited to several at once.

The Great Resignation is hitting some companies harder than others. Companies with a well-designed Meeting Operating System - a system that directs meeting activity to ensure meetings flow effectively and efficiently - enjoy calendars that look a lot like they did before the lockdown. Those embracing asynchronous communications have even more time free for other work.

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Topics: meeting design, communication architecture, meeting culture

Meetings still lousy? Look for the "Yah, but..."

May 4, 2022 by Elise Keith in meeting culture (5 minute read)

Many teams endure too much time wasted in unproductive meetings. I am increasingly convinced that this is not due to a lack of knowledge.

Want to help me test this hypothesis? Take our short survey and share it with your peers!

Take a Short Survey:  5 Obvious Tips for Better Meetings

We are awash in information about How to plan and run productive meetings. We have centuries of useful tips and multiple professions full of people who know how to structure and lead a productive meeting to draw upon.

I believe instead that those ineffective meetings are a systemic issue. If leaders really wanted to address their meeting problems, they could - but they don't.

Something gets in the way. That something is baked into the team culture. It's the

"how things get done around here." It's a system that has no allowance for making changes to meetings.

Of course, the company handbook doesn't decree that "Thou shalt run soul-sucking meetings." If the meetings are bad and we're not talking about the meetings, then that's a shadow system. Shadow systems are full of unwritten rules, workarounds, and habits governing how people interact. Part ingenuity, part social conformity, and a whole bunch of just not looking too closely because we have other priorities right now thank you very much.

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Topics: meeting culture

How to Optimize Your Team’s Information Sharing in Meetings

Jan 5, 2022 by Elise Keith in tips & techniques, meeting culture (30 minute read)

Meeting overload, zoom fatigue, and too much time wasted in unproductive meetings: these problems grow during periods of rapid change. Bad meetings proliferate when we struggle to communicate well. And when things change rapidly, we need to share more information more often to keep on top of the situation. 

According to a 2013 study by PMI, $75 million for every $1 billion spent on projects is put at risk by ineffective communications. (source)

Remember 2013? Looking back, those seem like such simple times!  How much more money do you imagine we're losing now, after two years of constant uncertainty? If we struggled to share information effectively back then, it's no wonder that today's meeting madness has become so overwhelming.

Now imagine,  what else might we accomplish if we could redirect those wasted funds (and time and energy) towards achieving some worthwhile goals?

Good news! You can solve these problems for your teams by developing an effective communication architecture that includes a well-designed Meeting Operating System (MOS).

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Topics: tips & techniques, meeting culture

It's Time to Talk About Your Meetings. Here's How to Get Started.

Apr 30, 2021 by Elise Keith in meeting culture (7 minute read)

"How can we reduce the time we're spending in meetings?"

I used to love it when clients asked me this, because wow - what a softball! This is easy math. To reduce time wasted in unproductive meetings, you can:

  1. Cancel meetings.
    Look for any meeting that lacks a clear purpose or goals, and get rid of it.

  2. Shorten meetings.
    Whack 10 minutes off of every recurring meeting on your calendar, and stick to the new time limit.

  3. Invite fewer people.
    Eliminate meeting time for those people, who probably have better things to do anyway.

  4. Assign a timekeeper.
    This increases your team's awareness of time passing in the meeting and your odds of ending on time or early.

Here's a quicky video summing up these easy-math tips.

 

But do these simple answers help the smart professionals asking this question? 

No.

Of course not, because this isn't really a math question.

This is a question about how to change a team's meeting culture.

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Topics: meeting culture